Blog Post

The Journey: Where have you been?

Elliot • 1 March 2020

I’m sorry...

I know I’ve been quiet but as is sometimes the way, life got in the way. Things have been a little stressful, some of which I’ll go into in this blog and as a direct result of this, the whole Black Bess project has taken a back seat in recent months. It’s all in the efforts of self-preservation and with the mental health aspect of this blog, I’m sure you’ll understand that it’s just been case of knowing my own limits, putting some plates down and focusing on keeping some of the more basic plates spinning.

A lot has happened since the last update (which I can’t believe was all the way back in October 2019!) I started a new a job few days prior to the last update. After the trials and tribulations of my previous role, the new place has been a breath of fresh air. Not without its challenges but full to the brim of wonderful people, all keen to give you a leg up. I’ve spent a good proportion of the time focusing on learning the ropes of the new role. More often than not, I get home with a huge brain fog from learning so much new stuff, and crash into the weekend needing plenty of down time. Finding the energy to persevere with the car was a challenge.

In addition, things have been very stressful at home. For reasons that I’ll go into in a future blog, it has become clear that doing any sort of work on the old car here is absolutely not compatible with our environment. The nail in the coffin was coming home last week and finding that a hidden leak in the garage roof combined with heavy storms had resulted in a wall collapsing onto the front wing of Bess. Fortunately, there is no material damage but long story short, we need to find a new home and so all efforts and a considerable amount of the resto money have been diverted onto that. I will update you more on this in the next 2 months when our plans finally start to bear fruit. While I’m on this subject, do you know anyone with a car transporter in the midlands that may help us to relocate Bess to a new home? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

The stagnation of the project has been deeply deeply frustrating for another reason however. You may recall from our social medial channels that my inspirational grandparents celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary back in August 2019. Sadly, this was one of the last days that I really saw my grandparents together as I’ve always really known them. Nan was diagnosed with dementia earlier in 2019 and her condition was worsening by August. Shortly afterwards, it became clear that some intervention was needed. After a lengthy stay in specialist assessment facilities, nan was moved into a care home just before Christmas.

Things seem to be reasonably okay for her. In her world, where the construct of time is very abstract, she seems relatively happy for about 80% of the time. She has always been a sociable soul and thrives among new faces. One of the few benefits of this illness and being moved into a care home is that every day brings the same old new faces. She is comfortable, safe and very well cared for. Her personality continues to win admirers among the staff too, which can really help land some brownie points for the times when she decides she’s going to be awkward.

For grandad however, it’s a very different story. After 70 years of sharing a home with my nan, he finds himself alone. I suspect that the purpose that she gave him to look after her is as much a loss as her presence too. It’s desperately sad and I can feel how low he is about it all just from being sat with him. All I really want to do, is rock up on the driveway with our old car and take him out for the day. I know just how much he would love to do that too. Alas, that’s some way off yet. I just hope that father time is kind to us and I’m able to do this one day.

Bess always gets a mention on visits to see nan too. As is often the way, recollections of decades ago are often much easier than memories from earlier that day. We always manage to get a few sentences of sense out of her and a genuine interest when we talk about the old car. Again, how lovely would it be to pull up outside her care home and let her see, touch, smell and hear Bess. She must have so many memories swirling around in there somewhere…

For now, I visit her. Not so often that I fade into the fog that is the presence. But often enough to remind her that I still care. Grandad and I have planned a few days out too. Even without the old car, it’s still great to spend time with him. And my friends all think he’s amazing too. January saw his first ever trip to RAF Cosford, which as a war veteran was of huge interest to him. February plans got canned. Partly because of storms but mostly because I’d got so stressed about things that I’d made myself ill for several weeks. The very last thing I wanted to do was make him ill. We’re off to the British Motor Museum at Gaydon soon though. I’m really looking forward to that.

In addition to work, home and grandparents, other family illnesses, HMRCs inability to get my tax right resulting in considerably less cash that I wanted and the dark nights and mornings, I’ve really struggled over the past few months. As always, I’ve had support from those closes to me. And talking about some of this stuff absolutely makes it easier to accept the things that are out of my control and devise a plan for the stuff that is in my control. It feels like I’m coming out of the other side now though. I’m really looking forward to sharing more updates with you in the coming weeks and months. So, stay tuned and watch this space.

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The journey: The Reveal

by Elliot • 19 February 2021

Firstly, in addition to sharing the video of the reveal I said I would share details of the JustGiving page that we've set up to raise some funds for The Royal British Legion , The Alzheimer's Society and Mind in his memory. You'll find the page for donations HERE , and I've also updated the original post with the same link. Alternatively, you can click on the charity logo image below.

The Journey: Goodbye Grandad

by Elliot • 14 February 2021

If you knew my grandad personally his funeral will be held on 25 March 2021 at Sandwell Crematoriu m, although it is likely that Covid-19 restrictions will limit numbers. In lieu of flowers, all we’re asking is that you do what came so naturally to him - Tell those people precious to you that you love them. If you’d like to make a donation to his memory, we will be splitting the proceeds three ways. To the Royal British Legion, the Alzheimer’s Society and of course, to Mind. You can do so by heading to our JustGiving page . For now though, there are plenty of wonderful memories for us to immerse ourselves in. How lucky we are to have them. And how lucky we were to have you; Ron, Ronaldo Longero, Corporal R.S Long, ‘Old Grumpy’... Grandad. Sleep well. We love you.